There’s a big problem we need to address. It’s something a lot of people don’t feel comfortable talking about, but it’s time to acknowledge this condition once and for all. It plagues people in the hottest of summer days, but can also strike at any time. It doesn’t discriminate based on gender or any other factor, and it wreaks havoc on the nether regions of those afflicted.
This condition is known as Swamp Ass. If you’re still wondering, “What is Swamp Ass?” It occurs when your bum, specifically your butt crack gets all hot and sweaty. Basically, it’s just an uncomfortable mess, but it can and should be avoided with ease! For this reason and more, we are declaring June 21st, Summer Solstice as the inaugural Swamp Ass Awareness Day. As we kick off the hot summer season we want to raise awareness about this condition so that you can take back your summer days and say screw you to Swamp Ass. With a small dash of Anti Monkey Butt Powder, you can go back to enjoying outdoor barbecues, concerts, sporting events and more in peace. We are here to tell you, there is a cure for Swamp Ass. Although we are known to be cheeky, we take this condition very seriously. Show us how you’re conquering Swamp Ass this season as we help you take back the summer.
On July 9th we will be declaring one King and one Queen of Swamp Ass to win an AMB prize pack.